It’s been a busy couple of days for The Generalissimo. Most importantly, I managed to steal Wade Redden from at least 3 other teams, and I only had to pay $6.5 mil per year, for 6 years, to do it. Might seem like a lot for a player who had a down season last year (and considering that Lidstrom is only locked up for $7.6 mil per year, and Brian Campbell signed for $7 mil per year). But as I told the media, we all know that Wade is the best first-passer in the game today (because I said he is!).
And let’s all give me a round of applause for locking up Michal Rozsival for $20 mil over 4 years. $5 mil is a great deal for a No. 3/4 defensemen, especially one who, in a phone interview with Newsday, admitted that no other teams really pursued him. As Rosival himself said, this is a “great organization, great front office.” He’s talking about me, people.
Have to admit, I’m surprised Avery signed with Dallas. Kinda hard to believe he chose to take $15.5 mil over 4 years, when we offered a better package – $2.5 mil per year, a $200 gift card to Men’s Warehouse, and front-row tickets to all the Project Runway finales (OT: Rami was totally screwed LOL!). Sure the foolish Rangers’ fans will say I let a key cog slip away, but I picked up three other guys that can replace him. Think of it this way – I got lucky getting Sean Avery, but he was only 1 guy! This is 3 guys, who combined should have 3 times the impact! You don’t have to be in the Hall of Fame, like I am, to do simple math!
ALL HAIL THE GENERALISSIMO!
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